Powered by:
as known from New York Timesas known from USA Todayas known from yahoo!
VA
Contains commercial content
The Grueling Truth - Where Legends Speak / Boynton & Carcillo Brave to Share Personal Struggles

Boynton & Carcillo Brave to Share Personal Struggles

Publish Date: 06/28/2018
Fact checked by: Mike Goodpaster
Nick Boynton playing with the Chicago Blackhawks

***This article was originally published on The Hockey Writers (https://thehockeywriters.com/boynton-carcillo-share-personal-struggles/)***

Nick Boynton was like any young Canadian who played hockey. Born in Nobleton, Ontario, he aspired one day to lace up the skates and compete in the National Hockey League.Β For most youthful Canadians, the dream to play professional hockey often ends in the backyard pond, Triple AAA or the Junior A level. But Boynton didn’t want to stop at the footsteps of stardom. He wanted to be a professional that could play a critical role on a team.

Trophies and hardware are the objects that encapsulate success and prosperity in hockey. With the Ottawa 67’s, Boynton helped his team to a Memorial Cup victory, the second in franchise history. He would also capture the Stafford Smythe Trophy as the Most Valuable Player in the Memorial Cup.

He wasn’t satisfied with the most coveted trophy in junior hockey. He wanted to hoist hockey’s majestic trophy, Lord Stanley’s Cup.Β After jumping around the league, Boynton was acquired at the perfect time by the Chicago Blackhawks in 2010. That year the Hawks finally ended their drought and won their first Stanley Cup since 1961. Every young hockey player would be envious of Boynton and the Blackhawks who were champions. It seemed like the forward had finally achieved his dreams.

Boynton’s Success a Mask for Personal Struggles

Β β€œWhenever things get really bad, and I find myself thinking about death, it’s always in the context of release. Escaping the pain. And no longer being around to make the lives of those I love miserable. The idea of dying as a way out. And even though I definitely wouldn’t say death has been something that I’ve wanted β€” that I actuallyΒ wantedΒ to die β€” at the same time, when I’d hit those low points, it was like … I didn’t exactlyΒ notΒ want it, either. In a lot of ways, as things got worse for me, death started to seem not so bad.”

That is an excerpt from Boynton’s recent piece in the Players Tribune titled,Β β€œEverything’s Not O.K.” Behind the aura of invincibility and beneath the mask of an enforcer was someone struggling with addiction, anxiety, and depression.

Throughout his career with the Boston Bruins, Arizona Coyotes, and Blackhawks, Boynton suffered between eight to ten concussions. The NHL lost almost half of his medical records, making it safe to say that he likely suffered more head traumas that went undiagnosed. Even with the head injuries, the mentality and culture of the NHL at that time wasΒ to always keep fighting and never give up.

β€œIt was just something you really didn’t talk about. So I had my bell rung 20 or 30 times, easily, and you just keep going, and it’s a struggle.”

When Nick played in the NHL, conversations surrounding the effects of concussions were not taking place and if a player struggled with mental illness, it would often be concealed.Β When Boynton did speak up about his personal struggles while playing, the support he received from his team was superficial. He would often be traded to another team, demonstrating the lack of support and understanding from the organization.

Nick retired from the NHL in 2011. After leaving the game, his personal demons worsened. To deal with the symptoms of concussions and depression,Β Boynton would resort to painkillers.

β€œI was always hurting. And in order for me to carry on, I had to mask all that pain. At one point during my career, I was taking so many painkillers and other drugs on a daily basis that I started to not even be able to recognize the person I had become. Trainers always had painkillers. So I took them. Often. And it just escalated from there. Eventually, I couldn’t get as many as I wanted, and so I started buying them from people on the street. Just more and more and more.”

His demons reached a tipping point and eventually he sought help for his addiction and head trauma. Funded through the NHL, Boynton went to rehab three times but his symptoms and struggles are still present.

β€œI honestly wish I would’ve retired when I was 26 or 27, even before I won a Stanley Cup. And I wish I could go back to that time and have a redo,” wrote Boynton.Β β€œThey can scratch my name off that Cup, and I’d hand my ring back in right now if I could go back and make it so that I wouldn’t have had to experience all this pain and sorrow and anger and sadness.”

There’s often false hope that everything is okay if you appear to be doing fine and are being a productive and helpful member of society. But as the former enforcer states, he hopes that his revelation thatΒ everything is not okayΒ will lead to more help and support for players struggling with mental illness.

β€œI’ve lied for too long. I can’t lie anymore. Everything’s not O.K. Things have actually been pretty awful for me in a lot of ways. And I’m tired of the act. So, you know … here we are. That’s why I’ve finally decided to put pen to paper. Like I said, I don’t want to die. But, you know, nothing is for certain. And I’m tired of keeping quiet.”

Carcillo Joins Boynton to Raise Awareness

It is not just Nick Boynton who is speaking out about the impact of head trauma and concussions on an athlete’s mental health. A few days before he published his Players’ Tribune article, former enforcer Dan Carcillo from King City, Ontario, posted a video on the same site, speaking for greater advocacy towards research and treatment about the effects of multiple concussions on hockey players.

Like Boynton, Carcillo played in an era when teams needed enforcers to go out and fight other players. As a result, he sustained many concussions throughout his career and many went unnoticed because he wanted to maintain the β€˜tough-guy’ image for his team and never leave the game due to injury.

Similar to Boynton, Carcillo experienced the joys that many hockey players in their childhood dream of. He played on two winning Stanley Cup teams, the pinnacle of hockey success. But he would give that up to be healthy and free of concussion symptoms.

β€œWhat’s the point of playing professional sports?” Carcillo asks in his Players’ Tribune video.Β β€œIt’s supposed to be for the memories. You can’t remember that anymore. It’s scary. I would give back all of my money, all of the time. You can take my name off the Stanley Cup twice over. I can’t live like that anymore.”

But as Boynton points out, enforcers shouldn’t be the only ones raising awareness about mental health issues felt by concussion victims. It should also be the superstars of the game.

β€œI truly believe it’s going to need to be the superstars of the game driving things,” writes the former enforcer.Β β€œAs much as I’d like to believe I have the power to change the world, the reality is that no one in power cares about my complaints.Β But the guys who make big bucks for the teams … when they’re not happy and speak out, that’s when maybe something will change. If things could bubble up in that way, with leadership from our game’s most talented players, that would really have the potential to move the needle.”

Many Enforcers Not as Open About Personal Struggles

With Carcillo and Boynton’s recent revelations about their personal struggles, they hope that other players will also come forward sharing their stories of hardship and pain. Unfortunately, many fighters sacrificed their lives because they weren’t open about their struggles and kept the pain and sorrow bottled up inside.

Wade Belak, an enforcer for the Toronto Maple Leafs and Nashville Predators, put his heart and soul into every game he played, epitomizing toughness and grit.Β I met Wade at a time when I needed a boost in happiness and spirit. When I was in Grade 5, I was hospitalized with an undiagnosed illness, hindering my daily life. One day, the nurses took us to a lounge where members of the Leafs were there to visit us.

As a young boy who had grown up a die-hard Leafs fan, seeing my hockey heroes made all my troubles evaporate into thin air. The most energetic of all of them was Belak. He shook my hand, put a smile on my face with his contagious enthusiasm and gave me the spirit to keep fighting in the midst of adversity.

My heart sank on August 31, 2011, when I found out that he had taken his own life. That jovial persona, who had helped me during a difficult time, was masking inner demons. Everyone knew Wade as a prankster, a philanthropist and a fun person to be around. But the constant blows to the head, which sparked anxiety and depression, proved to be too much for the enforcer.

Belak was not the only one.Β As Boynton explains, there were others who had kept their struggles inside until they reached a breaking point:

β€œSteve Montador. Derek Boogaard. Rick Rypien. I knew those guys. They were real people to me. They played the same game I did, and when it was all said and done … they were really just suffering. They struggled with depression and anxiety and substance abuse and just … pain. All of the things I’ve been dealing with. They went through some of the exact same stuff. And now … I talk about them in the past tense. How theyΒ wereΒ my friends. And how theyΒ used to beΒ my brothers. They’re just … gone.”

Lawsuits Divide Players and League

While Boynton and Carcillo should be applauded for their courage to write about their personal stories, more needs to be done to expose theΒ NHL’s lack of support for players dealing with concussions.Β A class-action lawsuit has been filed against the NHL for not providing more advice, knowledge, and support for players during their time in the league to deal with their concussion-related symptoms.

Initially, there were 10 players suing the league. It has now increased to over 100 former players.

The players’ argument in the lawsuit is that the league could have done more to ensure player safety when they played in the NHL. While concussion-related research is more comprehensive today than in previous decades, the NHL should have provided better resources to get the necessary help and treatment. As a result of the league’s inaction, many players experience dementia, depression and other forms of mental illness due to multiple concussions sustained during their careers.

The league is arguing that there is no provable link between CTE and concussions sustained while playing hockey. At the time these players were in the NHL, the appropriate safety measures were put in place,Β as knowledge about concussions wasn’t as expansive as it is today.

At every turn, the NHL is going to dispute evidence from credible scientists in the field that stateΒ CTE is linked to concussions. Commissioner Gary Bettman wants to deflect any responsibility in order to protect his bottom line – the owners he works for and the product on the ice that is generating sizable revenue.

Doubting science will only lead to more players being put in harm’s way of sustaining concussions and potentially CTE. A similar lawsuit launched against the National Football League led to settlements of approximately $1 billion. The NHL is not that wealthy, meaning large settlements could impact the financial foundation of the league.

Culture Shift Must Occur Regarding Mental Health

It is courageous and important to see more hockey players speak out about their mental health challenges. It is not just Nick Boynton and Dan Carcillo; Β former goaltender Corey Hirsch recently wrote an article in The Players’ Tribune, chronicling his battle with depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Former enforcers Gino Odjick and Todd Bertuzzi have also gone public with their personal stories, in the hopes of starting a much-needed conversation about mental illness.

β€œAbout twenty percent of the adult population suffers from mental illness, and just because you are a professional athlete or a doctor or a lawyer does not grant you immunity. Anyone at any time can suffer from a mental health issue and it can strike at any time,” says Hirsch. β€œThere’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. We’re all just trying to get through the day. So let’s be open. Let’s talk about it.”

For many years, players like Boynton experienced the negative repercussions of speaking up about mental illness. It was often concealed, players would have to β€˜tough it out’ otherwise management would ship you to another team. And for years, the NHL made no attempt to try and educate themselves about these conditions, resulting in a silent epidemic amongst its athletes.

β€œAny time I reached out to the league, or to the players’ union doctors about mental-health issues, they basically just told me that I was an addict, and that I should sign up for some self-help groups β€” and that what I actually, really needed was to go do 90 meetings in 90 days,” reflects Boynton. β€œAt this point in my life, I believe that there are other alternatives out there, in terms of diagnosis and treatment, that the league is avoiding for the simple reason that they think it’s going to hurt the game if we find out the truth about the damage being done to players’ brains from head hits.”

A culture shift must occur in the NHL. Education leads to understanding, which will, in turn, lead to more support for those suffering from mental health issues. If coaches and management encourage a culture of acceptance and support in the locker room than it could lead to more athletes speaking up about their troubles and the NHL could be there for them to get the help they need.

No longer can the culture of fear persist. We speak about physical issues like a broken foot or cancer. Why not treat mental health like any other physical ailment?

Toronto Maple Leafs coach Mike Babcock has been heavily involved in bringing awareness to these topics. He has worked with the Center for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH) and other organizations as an advocate for giving athletes the platform to start a conversation about mental health that will translate into effective action.

Through his recent Movember initiative that raised money for youth mental health, the coach is helping to slowly remove the fear attached to these illnesses.

β€œJust because you’re a good athlete doesn’t mean you can escape mental health issues that affect people,” says Babcock.Β β€œBringing awareness to it is important. Bringing funds to it to make a difference is important. By doing this, we do both.”

Was Playing in the NHL Worth It?

Hockey players make tremendous sacrifices. From the early morning rides to the rink, to the bus journeys to tournaments and the financial burden on families to pay for leagues and equipment. Beneath those responsibilities is the underlying hope that one day it will all pay off if you can make it to the professional ranks. Given Boynton’s struggles, he wonders if he would let his son play in a sport that caused him so much pain.

β€œI cannot, in good conscience, let him play the game of ice hockey until something changes and we start looking out for our players by taking the problems of head hits and concussions β€” and their potential impact on mental health β€” more seriously,” he writes.

While there is a great impetus to β€˜start the conversation’ about mental health, such platitudes only appear a few days in a year and are not translated into action. Players like Nick Boynton and Dan Carcillo can only hope that their narratives can lead to positive change so future players don’t have to endure what they’ve had to.

β€œThe potential to make a difference right now is just so great,” says Boynton.Β β€œIt’s sitting out there for guys, just waiting for someone to grab hold of and initiate some conversations that will end up saving people’s lives. And at the end of the day, that, more than anything, will be the best thing for this sport. Because this stuff isn’t going away anytime soon, and hockey can either be on the right side of this, or on the wrong side.”

Read Also
Come Fly with me: How the 1988-89 Chicago Bulls pushed forward to an NBA dynasty.
Find the best sportsbook to bet on the NBA Playoffs! Prologue: By ...
Esteban de Jesus, Roberto Duran y AIDS (1972-89)
Many of us dream of celebrity sports fame, but only cruel individuals ...
BetMGM Promo
Elmer Ray: The Humble Man of Hastings
"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for ...
Top 100 remaining 2021 NFL free agents after Day 1
This is the most up-to-date list of available NFL free agents following ...
Ranking the top 200 players in the NFL ahead of the 2021 season
This list isn’t based solely on performances from the 2020 NFL season. ...
Top 100 NFL free agents entering the 2021 offseason
Below is a list of the top 100 free agents available this ...
Jack Moriarty and 1880’s Canadian Boxing
Sports journalist, Ed Fitkin, worked in print journalism atΒ Toronto’s Daily GlobeΒ would find ...
The Forgotten Canadian Champion (And Maybe It’s Deserved): Billy Hawkins
As Mike Goodpaster and I prepare our popular Old-Time Boxing Show podcast, ...
The Army Boxer Who Knocked-Down Muhammad Ali (1960)
I had wanted to write a boxing story about Junebug Hudson for ...
Sportsbook of the month
PointsBet - Get your Bonus Bet now!
-
Top Brands
Top Bonuses
Stake.us
Stake.us
Stake.us Review
4.6/5
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas Review
4.6/5
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic Review
4.5/5
High5Casino
High5Casino
High5Casino Review
4.5/5
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins Review
4.5/5
Stake.us
Stake.us Bonus
$25 No Deposit + 250,000 Gold Coins + 5% Rakeback
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas Bonus
30 SCs on 1st Purchase + 4.5 SCs FREE
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic Bonus
25 SCs extra free on first purchases + 2 SCs FREE to claim
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
High5Casino
High5Casino Bonus
$5 No Deposit + 250 GameCoins + 600 Diamonds
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins Bonus
1,000 ($10) No Deposit Free Coins + 360,000 Gold Coins
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Latest News
Top-10 Third Basemen of All-Time: Schmidt or Brett at number one?
The hot corner has seen some great players ...
The Nine Most underrated Heavyweight Boxers of All-Time
I love making these lists. I grew up ...
Betting Tips
12/02/2023 - 8:00 pm
Bank of America Stadium
Tip:
Louisville to Cover
2.50
FanDuel
12/02/2023 - 4:00 pm
Mercedes Benz Stadium
Tip:
Georgia to Cover
-5.50
FanDuel
12/01/2023 - 9:00 pm
Allen Fieldhouse
Tip:
Kansas to Cover
-2.50
FanDuel
Our Latest YouTube Videos
Video: Indiana Basketball weekly W/Steve Risley: IU/Harvard Preview and UCONN and Louisville Recaps!
Indiana Basketball weekly W/Steve Risley: IU/Harvard Preview and UCONN and Louisville Recaps!
Video: Indiana Basketball Weekly W/Steve Risley: Indiana vs Army Preview and Florida Gulf Coast recap!
Indiana Basketball Weekly W/Steve Risley: Indiana vs Army Preview and Florida Gulf Coast recap!
Video: Indiana Hoosiers hire Curt Cignetti as Head Coach, Is it the right Hire?
Indiana Hoosiers hire Curt Cignetti as Head Coach, Is it the right Hire?
Sportsbook of the month
PointsBet - Get your Bonus Bet now!
-
Find out what the legends have to say about sports this week....
Top Online Casinos
Top Casinos Bonuses
Stake.us
Stake.us
Stake.us Review
4.6/5
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas Review
4.6/5
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic Review
4.5/5
High5Casino
High5Casino
High5Casino Review
4.5/5
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins Review
4.5/5
Stake.us
Stake.us Bonus
$25 No Deposit + 250,000 Gold Coins + 5% Rakeback
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
Wow Vegas
Wow Vegas Bonus
30 SCs on 1st Purchase + 4.5 SCs FREE
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
Sweeptastic
Sweeptastic Bonus
25 SCs extra free on first purchases + 2 SCs FREE to claim
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
High5Casino
High5Casino Bonus
$5 No Deposit + 250 GameCoins + 600 Diamonds
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Fortune Coins
Fortune Coins Bonus
1,000 ($10) No Deposit Free Coins + 360,000 Gold Coins
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Top Betting Sites
Top Betting Bonuses
DraftKings
DraftKings
DraftKings Review
4.6/5
FanDuel
FanDuel
FanDuel Review
4.6/5
BetMGM
BetMGM
BetMGM Review
4.5/5
Bet365
Bet365
Bet365 Review
4.5/5
BetRivers.com
BetRivers.com
BetRivers.com Review
4.5/5
DraftKings
DraftKings Bonus
Bet $5 Get $150 Instantly
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
FanDuel
FanDuel Bonus
Bet $5 Get $150 in Bonus Bets
T&Cs apply
4.6/5
BetMGM
BetMGM Bonus
up to $1,500 back in Bonus Bets
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Bet365
Bet365 Bonus
$1000 in Bonus Bets
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Place your first cash bet up to $1,000, and if the bet loses, you will have your wager refunded in Bonus Bets. T&Cs, time limits and exclusions apply. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-Gambler 21+
Caesars
Caesars Bonus
100% up to $1000
T&Cs apply
4.5/5
Our Team
Mike GoodpasterAuthor IconJosh SchwartzSamuel TeetsSimon Briffa
+10
Mike Goodpaster
Mike Goodpaster
Chief Editor
Author Icon
Christopher Carlson
Content Writer
Josh Schwartz
Josh Schwartz
Editor
Samuel Teets
Samuel Teets
US Sports Veteran
Simon Briffa
Simon Briffa
Sports Editor
Mark Lewis
Mark Lewis
Editor
Chris Benedict
Chris Benedict
Editor
Author Icon
Daniel Kornhauser
Author
John Raspanti
John Raspanti
Author
Author Icon
Malik Zorrok
Author
Author Icon
Buddy Gibbs
Author
Brian Coburn
Brian Coburn
Author
aukje
aukje
Author
Peter Bonahoom
Peter Bonahoom
Author
berina
berina
Author
Find out what the legends have to say about sports this week....

Players must be 21 years of age or older or reach the minimum age for gambling in their respective state and located in jurisdictions where online gambling is legal. Please play responsibly. Bet with your head, not over it. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, and wants help, call or visit: (a) the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey at 1-800-Gambler or www.800gambler.org; or (b) Gamblers Anonymous at 855-2-CALL-GA or www.gamblersanonymous.org.

This site is using Cloudflare and adheres to the Google Safe Browsing Program. We adapted Google's Privacy Guidelines to keep your data safe at all times.

21+NCPG
Move to Top
Close
Players accepted in the US US Flag
Stake.us Exclusive Bonus
$25 No Deposit + 250,000 Gold Coins + 5% Rakeback
Promo Code
Copy
Visit Site
T&Cs apply, 18+
Payment Methods
Bitcoin
Litecoin
Ethereum
Dogecoin
Highlights
  • Exclusive promo code: TGTSOCIAL
  • Play Plinko, Hilo, Crash and more!
  • Get Stake Cash bonuses every day!
Stake Originals
Dice
Crash
Plinko
Mines
×
Your Promo Code:
The bonus offer of was already opened in an additional window. If not, you can open it also by clicking the following link:
Visit Site