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The Grueling Truth - Where Legends Speak / Don’t Let a Limited Belief System Hold You Back After Divorce

Don’t Let a Limited Belief System Hold You Back After Divorce

A guide
Publish Date: 05/12/2020
Fact checked by: Mike Goodpaster

The divorce procedure has a harmful effect on the financial state, physical and psychological issues. Usually, people after divorce cannot go straight back to their lives or start over with something better. They need time to adjust to the routine that has significantly changed. Overcoming depression, health issues, stress effects and personal discomfort they struggle to go back to normal life. 

This is not true for every single divorced person. But, actually, every divorced person is expected to act like this. Such common beliefs and prejudices are the main obstructions to moving on after the divorce. The primary thing for a divorced person is to create own future with the help of personal visions and opinions not basing on common beliefs. 

Debunk the Myths about Life after Divorce

The society often forces you to fit into the role you don’t really belong to. The divorced people are expected to be gloomy, mourning, depressive, staying alone for a long time. They seem to need support and sympathy like people with severe disease. They should look as if not their marriage is gone, but their own life is going to the end. That is what we see in movies, TV series, and social media. No one expects you to be cheerful and happy after divorce. Society will resent such behavior.

To tell the truth, a common opinion is the last thing you should bother about after the divorce. You should put all restraining rules away and live your own life freely to get satisfied with how it goes. Here are some common myths about divorced people we want to debunk to inspire you.

  • Stay single – a divorced person is expected to stay single for some time after the divorce not to be labeled as a cheater or careless person. Yet, new relationships are even recommended to switch off depressive thoughts and have someone to back you up in an unstable period of your life. At last, why should you reject being happy and loved, if you need it, just for the common idea? 
  • No love and no positive emotions – mourning face, sad romantic movies, pounds of ice and sweets and bottles of alcohol – a normal picture of a person who gets divorce papers to sign up or have already done it. Don’t let this image limit your wish to be happy again, to view divorce as a chance for a fresh start, to move on and get a better life. 
  • Devote yourself to children or previous job – if you are left to be a single parent, it shouldn’t be your only concern, just because it is your primary responsibility. You can and should develop yourself in all spheres, be open to new offers and be enthusiastic to welcome changes together with your children or any other responsibilities.
  • Join support groups not to go breaking bed – all your friends and relatives will advise you to enroll in divorced people support group to show they really care. Yet, support groups are not the only and certainly far from the best way to recover after divorce. Your primary support should be your close friends and relatives. And if you don’t feel like speaking about what hurts you in front of depressive stranges it is totally normal and you can find different options. Multiple divorce platforms offer online divorce help which includes after-divorce healing in forms of articles, blogs, forums, and live support specialists. Choose whatever you feel comfortable with and go on to live your life happily. 
  • Beware of deep depression – your marriage is ended, your chance to be happy is lost, you can hardly have the same organized routine, you will easily get into depression, so you’d better take anti-depressant pills in advance. That is the future most of social media and friends will predict for you. The difference is that it is you who will create the future. So it is basically up to your choice, enthusiasm, and desire. You can easily control your life and your inner state if you wish. 

Don’t let common beliefs predetermine your behavior and life priorities, decide by yourself, and be open to new possibilities. 

Learn to Move On

The most difficult thing is to struggle through personal fears and common disapproval and be strong enough to move on. If you put enough effort and use good tips, you will see that life after divorce can be the same and even better than you used to have. 

  • Create a mind map – when you write down your concerns and plans they are easier to deal with. The same thing goes with after-divorce prejudices. Write down limitations you put on your lifestyle yourself and write chances and plans that you ruin with those limits. Dwell on the importance of limits and plans and go on to creating the future without unnecessary restraints. 
  • Search for new possibilities – try to overcome your ears, search for sources of inspiration, and inner strength. This will help you to understand that marriage and divorce are just other stages in your life that have passed and now you are free and open for changes and new possibilities to bring you happiness. 
  • Get someone to rely on – even having tons of enthusiasm or not having any of that, you should get someone to back you up in difficult and challenging moments. It is not because you are divorced, it is just because you are a simple person who needs to be loved and supported. 

There are many sources and means to find your way to happiness even afterlife challenges. Get more ideas at https://onlinedivorcer.com/washington-divorce-online read supportive articles, follow useful advice, and let yourself be happy. Forget about arguments, endless lists of superior court divorce forms, hours of discussion, and bargaining. Don’t concentrate on being offended or lonely, don’t try to fit some common image, let it all go and create your future with a bunch of changes, new possibilities, and long happily after. 

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